


Couldn't be any clearer (One Day One Shot)

by Mindscape_13



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: He Cheng Brother Qui emotions slight angst love confession fear, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29069130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mindscape_13/pseuds/Mindscape_13
Summary: Qui confronts He Cheng about his recent behaviour. To which He Cheng up and finally confess...(I know that they wouldn't really go into such detail about their feelings but I wanted to see how it would be if they did. Enjoy .)
Relationships: He Cheng/Brother Qiu (19 Days)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 33





	Couldn't be any clearer (One Day One Shot)

One day  
The sound of the his door opening and closing didn't deter him from reading over the documents on his desk. Besides, he knew who it was without even looking up.

"Okay, this has been going on long enough. You've been pissed all week. Why?" 

"I'm busy."

Qui crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at his boss. He Cheng has been a pain in the ass more than usual all week and he was getting sick and tired of it.

"I'm not leaving until you've explained your recent behaviour." Qui insisted. Voice gruff with exhaustion. He had a bad night's sleep this week. Worrying over this ass.

"Then your going to be in for a long wait." Came He Cheng's answer, voice calm and collected. Qui tilts his head to the left a little, eyeing him up and down.

"It's me, isn't it?"

"Don't be so forward." He Cheng cut him off. 

Qui stayed quiet then until He Cheng had no choice but to look up for a quick second. But the white haired male caught him.

"What is your problem with me this time? As far as I'm concerned, I haven't fucked anything up." 

You fucked up my heart.

He Cheng said nothing but quietly read over the same three sentence paragraph again. And again. And again.

"Look, you may be my boss and I may be your bodyguard but I don't have time to babysit you when I'm already doing that for your brother. So fuck this." Qui was irritated with Cheng's passive behaviour. He turned to walk away. Neared the door and then-

"I can't work with you anymore." 

Qui stiffened. He Cheng's words made his heart drop to his stomach and ache. Fiercely.

"Why?" He asked, swallowing the emotions threatening to crawl out.

"Conflict of interests."

"Bullshit."

He Cheng drew in a deep breath and released it slowly. Linking his fingers together as he raised his head to gaze at the white haired man's back. Opening his mouth to repeat the words he's rehearsed for the past couple of days.

"I find you inadequate and-" His words died on his tongue when A-Qui turned around and stared him down. The words he practised gone as his mind blanked.

He quickly looked away struggling to say something as his brain scrambled for words to say. "You and I can't work together because, of, our differences." He finished, wetting his lips. Feeling like a fool.

"What differences?" A-Qui demanded as he took a couple of steps closer to he desk. Breathing deeply to calm his anger over this bullshit.  
"Look, I can't work with you. I'll transfer you over-" "Fucking answer my question." Qui hissed out, resisting to urge to smack He Cheng because this was uncalled for and unfair. And it stung. Hurt more than he thought possible. And that hurt fueled his anger. And he clung to it. Needed it to keep from reaching for the man before him and, and... And nothing.

Because his feelings didn't belong here. It's irrational and dangerous and stupid. Because falling for his boss was a stupid and dangerous move. Unsuspecting but dangerous. And the rate it's growing every day since finding out about said feelings were borderline crazy. Because they can't seem to stop.

He Cheng squared his shoulders and lifted his chin, still refusing to even look at him. A-Qui knew then he was going to treat him like every other employee he was dismissing without a care.

Which was utter bullshit to him because he knew he was more than just an employee. He knew he's became more to He Cheng, a friend at least, so he couldn't understand why the man was doing this. It didn't make sense for him to do this unless, unless he somehow found out about his feelings for him. Maybe that's why.

But he couldn't of known, Qui had taken every strenuous, torturous way out for him not to know.

"Go on. Say the same bullshit your going to tell me that you've told countless employees that you didn't care for. Because obviously I didn't mean jack shit to you. Nor did my friendship." He called He Cheng out. "I should've known better than to even trust you like that. Shouldn't have ever trusted you and your lies." His voice was bitter and full of resentment.

"Lies?" Came He Cheng's voice, soft and disbelieving. Eyes finally looking at A-Qui. Qui watched as He Cheng slowly stood up from his chair and regarded him with a cold stare.

"Fuck you for even saying everything I told you, things i've told no one were lies." Qui scoffed at him. "Then what would you call them? Because the way I see it, you just used me. And now that you don't need me anymore, I am suddenly disposable-" 

He Cheng slammed his left hand down on the desk hard, cutting A-Qui off. He seemed to be shaking in fury. Because A-Qui's words cut deep. 

"That's the problem. Your not indisposable." This confused Qui who could only stare at him a little stunned.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Cause just right now, you were hell bent on sending me packing-" 

"It means that I can't fucking take this shit anymore!" He Cheng yelled. "I can't take these feelings anymore. I don't want them. They don't have any business inside my heart and I certainly don't want you." He said vehemently.

But Qui could only stare at him with slightly widened eyes. Stunned. Speechless. 

And hurt.

They stared at each other...until Cheng turned around and crossed his arms, leaning back against the desk.

"These feelings don't belong here. Shouldn't have ever gotten chance to breathe, much less fucking take root. But it did and I realised too late and now... Now it's gotten to a point where no matter what I do I can't get rid of them." He told A-Qui. Sounding tired, as if he was tired of fighting them. That he just wanted to get rid of it.

"So the only way for me to get rid of it, is if I let you, go." 

No. The word were on the tip of his tongue but he didn't say that. Instead Qui said, "I feel the same way you do. Except... I don't want to get rid of mine." That made He Cheng tense up, shoulders rigid. Qui waited for him to say something but the raven haired male didn't. 

"I've been having them for more than a while now. I didn't want to say something because, I didn't know how you'd take it. I didn't even dare hope or fantasize." He told He Cheng, swallowed and let out a shaky breath. "Guess I got my answer."

He Cheng quickly turned around and pinned Qui with a intense stare.

"You don't get it. I can't afford to feel this way. About you. About anyone. Feeling this way is dangerous. It has no business in a world as dark as mine. What's even worse. I fell for you. Hard. And I hate it-" "Why? What's so wrong with loving me?" Qui's voice was incredulous. Hurt that He Cheng didn't even consider to give him a chance.

"Because I can't protect you! I can't love you because I don't even know what that is! The only love I ever have is for Tian! This," He motioned between them. "I have no idea what to do with. Not that I can because it will fuck up everything. I will fuck everything up!" He told A-Qui. 

"And you think I'm any better? I've never been inlove. Never looked for it or cared for it but look at where I am now. So far down for you that I can't even think about leaving you. I was fine with you never finding out as long as I got to be close to you. But now your pushing me away, after telling me that you feel the same, how can you expect me to walk? To let you go now?" He asked He Cheng. "How can you even expect me to just let you push me away?" "You have to!" He Cheng said, looking conflicted as A-Qui felt.

"Why?" "Because you know I basically have no power! No will to resist you! And that you will get hurt should we pursue this! And I don't want that. I can't let that happen. I can't let you get hurt. I refuse to let you get hurt. Even if it means that I won't get to be with you A-Qui." He was obviously distraught over this but he was keeping a tight lid on his emotions. 

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there-" "No-" "Yes! Look, I know being this close to you is dangerous. And falling for you is borderline suicide. But I want to be with you despite the problems it will cause. I know what I'm getting myself into here. I knew the moment I accepted to work for you." Qui said, frowning. 

Cheng ran a hand through his hair, messing it up. He wanted to be like Qui and throw caution to the wind. But his heart tore itself up everytime he thought A-Qui getting hurt because someone found out about their relationship and hurting him to get to him. He refused to be he reason for A-Qui's pain.

"I'm sorry A-Qui, but I can't." He said, swallowing the sob that threatened to slip from his lips with difficulty. This hurt so much. His chest felt tight and no air seemed to reach his lungs. This pain was suffocating him. What was this?!

"I love you." 

He Cheng's head snapped up to A-Qui's, eyes wide at hearing those words. 

"I love you." Qui said again. Looking him dead in the eye.

"And I know the only reason your refusing to be with me is that you want to protect me. And I love you for that. But if you do so, then your only going to break both our hearts. I know you want to be with me just as I am desperate to be with you. I know you have thought over everything, over anyway for us to be together just like I have. And I know now the only reason you were so angry this past week was because you thought making me leave was best. But we both know it's not. You don't want me to leave. You don't want to let me go. I don't want to let you go. I don't want to fall for someone else. I've seen you, saw what you can do, heard you clearly when you spoke things to me that you couldn't tell anyone else. Saw your heart. And it's beautiful. And I want it for my own. I want you to be mine. And I'll be damned if your going to stop us from being together because your scared. I'm scared too. Your not the only one He Cheng. Now that I know that you want me, nothing is going to stop me from being with you. Not even you. I've waited too long for this." He told He Cheng and watched as tears filled He Cheng's eyes.

"I'm not even supposed to love you. I can't love you. You and I both know this'll only end up with one of us...   
badly hurt."

You dying.

He didn't say the words but knew A-Qui knew.

And even the thought of A-Qui dying made his chest compress tightly, cutting off his breathing. The thought scared him. Chilled him to the bone. And the possibility was real. A-Qui will die if he was with him.

"I know." Qui said. "I told you. I know what I'm getting myself into. And I'd rather face that reality than live in one where I didn't know what it's like to kiss you, feel you...love you." A tear slid down He Cheng's cheek and he glanced away. A-Qui's words bringing forth too much pain.

"A-Qui I can't-" "Why?" Qui pleaded softly. Desperately trying to understand why. 

"Because then, then I won't be able to go on living without your love once I've known what it feels like and your dead." Qui stepped forward when He Cheng choked on a sob. He reached for the other male but He Cheng flinched back. "Don't!" "He Cheng-" "A-Qui please!" He pleaded and Qui's own tears finally fell free. 

The night was silent as the two men stared at each other with the love they hid for so long. It was painful. Bittersweet. And heart wrenching.

"Love me, Cheng. That's all I want you to do. Just love me. I'll do the rest. Give me your heart. It's safe with me." But He Cheng was shaking his head and turning away. "You know I'll take good care of it. You know I won't hurt you. You know I'll love you as if I might never again-" "Because you might never again. That's what I'm afraid of A-Qui! That's why I can't! I can't be the reason that you died. I can't let you die because you loved me-" 

"But I'll die even if I don't. And I'd rather know what it's like being loved by you then dying without!" He stressed. But He Cheng still didn't turn to face him. So Qui quickly went around the desk and cupped his face and kissed him hungrily. He Cheng tried to put up a fight but it was weak, half-hearted as he kissed back with the same urgency as Qui. 

Damn you A-Qui!

He was already becoming quickly addicted to the man's kiss. "Be with me." A-Qui whispered against his lips. "No-" The words died as A-Qui kissed him senseless again. 

"Be with me."

"A-Qui No-" He Cheng gripped him closer when Qui shoved against him, body pressed tight against his as he kissed him deeply. 

"Be with me." Cheng was trembling in his arms, dying for another taste of his lips. For more. Fingers gently wiped the tears from his cheeks. He didn't even notice them until now. "Be with me Cheng. And I'll fight for us. Just let me love you. Just...love me." Qui's voice was full of emotion. Desperation and pleading. Lips dropping quick pecks onto He Cheng's swollen lips.

"Be with me." Qui pleaded, eyes holding his onyx coloured ones, begging him. Fearful of his rejection.

A-Qui kissed him again. Softer this time. The kiss full of unspoken promises, wonders and the depth of his love. Qui's lips trembling against his own, their heads leaning against the other's. 

"Be with me."

He Cheng had no more will to resist. He tightened his hand on A-Qui black shirt, where his heart lay...

He closed his eyes and listened, and felt his heart beat in sync with his own.


End file.
